
Pure comedy or totally inappropriate? Wisconsin Judge Philip Kirk went in a little bit during his sentencing of 71-year-old Delton Gorges, a former school bus driver who has been ordered to serve seven years behind bars after being convicted of the sexual assault of four boys over a period of 40 years. Gorges, who was once married and has a child, swore to his heterosexuality during his trial, but apparently the judge wasn’t buying it:
“I think you were born gayer than a sweet-smelling jockstrap,” Kirk told Gorges. “If anyone believes that in the last 10 years or 15 years all of a sudden you developed an interest in homosexuality and young boys, then I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress this year.
WHOA!!!!!!
Judge Kirk went on to say that his sentence had nothing to do with Gorges’ sexuality, but he acknowledged that the era Gorges grew up in would likely have made it impossible for him to be openly homosexual:
“I think that you lived your life as a lie all of your years,” Kirk said. “And I don’t doubt that you engaged in heterosexual behaviors, you got married and had a child. But it was all a lie.”
“I can’t imagine in the 40s or 50s admitting your sexual orientation. No one knew there was a closet to come out of in those days. You know you had to be very careful because you could have found your penis floating in the Wolf as walleye bait. It was a terrible life to have to live.”
Here’s a picture of Gorges:

We have to admit we are slightly confused as to whether the Judge was reprimanding Gorges, or hitting on him. SMH @sweet-smelling jock straps. We had no idea there was any such thing!
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